what if u woke up and ur fav fictional character was snuggled next to u and they were like “good morning”
nemo.. you cant be here.. your dad will be worried sick
is there anything weirder than waking up after a dream and all the details are still fresh in your mind so you’re just like what the FUCK WAS THAT WHY DID I THINK THAT WAS NORMAL HOW DID DREAM ME NOT QUESTION THAT
I once had a dream in which someone asked me “how can you tell this isn’t a dream” and I was like, “of course it’s not a dream: I have four hands”
THE REASON I GAVE FOR THINKING THIS DREAM WAS REALITY WAS THE FACT I HAD TWO EXTRA HANDS
HAHAHA HOLY SHIT WE WERE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF SURGERIES IN CLASS AND ALL THE GUYS WERE HOOTING AT THE SLICED BREAST ONES AND THEN THE TEACHER SWITCHED TO A PENIS PIC WHERE IT WAS CUT OPEN AND SOME 300LB JOCK DOUCHEBAG FAINTED RIGHT OUT OF HIS CHAIR BOYS ARE WEAK BOYS ARE FUCKING WEAK
you mean to tell me
that there was a god damn CUT OPEN BOOB
AND BOYS WERE STILL SEXUALISING IT
FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING FUCK DOES NO ONE SEE HOW FUCKED UP THIS IS
LET ME TELL YOU A THING ABOUT MARY
SHE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHERLOCK’S DEATH DID TO JOHN
SHE WITNESSED FIRSTHAND HOW MUCH IT HURT HIM
AND SHE STILL SHOT AT SHERLOCK
I MEAN SURE SHERLOCK LIVED IN THE END BUT HE DID DIE AND IF HE HADN’T THOUGHT OF JOHN HE WOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD
MARY WOULD DO THAT TO JOHN AGAIN AFTER SEEING HIM BROKEN
AND I CAN NEVER FORGIVE HER FOR THAT
- Virginia Woolf on James Joyce: [Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.
- Harold Bloom on J.K. Rowling: How to read ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’? Why, very quickly, to begin with, and perhaps also to make an end. Why read it? Presumably, if you cannot be persuaded to read anything better, Rowling will have to do.
- H. G. Wells on George Bernard Shaw: An idiot child screaming in a hospital.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson on Jane Austen: Miss Austen’s novels . . . seem to me vulgar in tone, sterile in artistic invention, imprisoned in the wretched conventions of English society, without genius, wit, or knowledge of the world.
- William Faulkner on Ernest Hemingway: He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.
- Ernest Hemingway on William Faulkner: Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?
- W. H. Auden on Robert Browning: I don’t think Robert Browning was very good in bed. His wife probably didn’t care for him very much. He snored and had fantasies about twelve-year-old girls.
- Mark Twain on Jane Austen: Every time I read ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone.